Thoughts We Keep

How hard it is to smile and pretend
everything is just right.
Do they see through me?
Do they know my secret?
Smile, laugh, act accordingly.
Everyone knows what I’ve done,
they sneer behind my back but smile to my face.
I can’t move in regret, disgust, vulgarity.
Why do I have to be with people?
to earn a living?
I don’t want to live.
My mind races with bad thoughts of myself,
repeating to me I am bad, not right, sick.
I believe this and know it to be true.
Why did God want us to be subjected to all this cruelty
when heaven is just a sleep away?
Is it all just a test to which I am failing?
Back to smiling.
~Joy Adderton

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[link] stock heree!!
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Another random eye photomanipulation! Coulda done alot more to it but i was being lazy! My thanks go to the person who made this stock!!!
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That poem is very meaningful to me! I used to be depressed and had to fake smile for everyone, but now I'm over the depression. It makes me feel good that other people have been through what I have!!

Adios.